|Wednesday, 11/2/05, at 4:25
A.M., I had to tell the emergency veterinarian to stop CPR on the joy of
my life, JenBur’s Lady Shana, because she was brain dead. I cannot
describe the devastation and pain I am going through. I brought this
girl into this world, breaking open her sack, cutting her cord, making
sure she was breathing, and then giving her to her mom, Lucy, to start
nursing and getting cleaned. She has crossed the Bridge at three
years old and is now, hopefully, happily romping with her sire, PADDS Fire
Walker and Jabbo (Octavia of Clinauid), the boxer I grew up with.
Shana was playing in the
forest preserve with her mom, Sarazan’s Lady Lucy, and three of her
other friends. This is a safe area where they always romped off-leash.
There was a freak accident and she got hit by a car on a service road.
The driver never stopped. Shana was able to make it back to my son
who called me immediately. We raced her to the emergency and critical
care vet. She had a punctured lung, a big gash on her side, a concussion
and some abdominal injuries they hadn’t determined the extent of yet.
She was near death when we got there and they did an expert job removing
the air from her chest and bringing her color back and heart rate down.
We thought the most critical time had passed. She needed a chest
tube at 11:30 P.M. and seemed to be doing better: heart rate stabilized
and blood values good. But at 4:01 A.M., we got a call that she was
in cardiac arrest and they didn’t think they could bring her back.
|Crying hysterically, my
son had to drive me there with my husband and other kids following.
It was so hard to tell them to stop CPR. I wanted to scream and yell
to bring her back to me. I actually yelled at the doctor for not
calling me sooner so I could hold her while she was dying. Instead
my family and I had to hug and talk to the beautiful love of our lives
as her body temperature turned cold.
How could this have happened?
My ever so spunky and cuddly, full of life, always wanting to play baby
now lay lifeless. She’ll never nudge me with her ball again.
Dropping it for me to throw, then just as I‘m grabbing it, snatch it away
and laugh at me. She’ll never play tag, keep-away and tug-of-war
with her mom, Lucy, again. Shana will never get pestered by her puppies,
Kayla and Jersey again, never chase and rough-house with them again.
She’ll never get that last point she needed for her Championship.
She’ll never be alert, focused and attentive in the ring to Stan and Jane
Flowers and Sandee Leschewski again. And what hurts the most is she’ll
never greet me at the door again with hugs and kisses and she’ll never
cuddle up on the couch and in bed with me again. How will I ever
get beyond this intense pain? Hugging my other dogs helps momentarily.
I know in time, I’ll be grateful I have her daughters to carry on for her.
But oh, the tears keep coming.
Good-bye my love. Shana,
I will always hold you dear in my heart. You will always be my Champion.
You have taught me to love life and always find fun in life. I will
always be indebted to you for all I have learned from you. And I
will always miss you. Have fun with your Dad and Jabbo at the Rainbow
You are in my heart forever.
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